And I love her

It was Sunday. Although ironically, It wasn't a sunny day. I could see the dull mists and feel the frosty outside air through my window. I turned off my alarm. I woke up even before the alarm rang anyway. Usually, at 10 am on Sunday morning, I would still be on my bed. But this was not just another day. I had been fantasizing this day for four months now. I was really glad that the hold up was over and was literally amped up for the day. Actually, it was a mixed feeling of excitement and nervousness. I really wanted the First Date with Aastha to be perfect.

Aastha flew down to Bangalore just a week earlier. She had scored some extremely good marks in her twelveth exam. She had always been the most intelligent between us. Was it a coincidence that she also happens to be here in Bangalore? I still really don't know, Although I might have recommended a couple of times. Well apparently, Her parents chose the college to study Medicines here at Bangalore University. Anyway, She was equally excited about our first date. She, in fact, wanted to see me just after the day she landed. However, It took time to settle there at her hostel.

I took a hot shower promptly. I had to see her in an hour. I wore a shirt which she had gifted, to make her vibe great.  I settled my hairdo in no time. I recheck my wallet and calculated it mentally if it's enough or not. When I was all done, I looked the mirror for the last time. I could see my eyes had turned red, Probably because I could not sleep last night.

I could hear the music nonchalantly until the cab driver turned it loud. The song was Arijith's sukoon mila. Aaah! the perfect song I thought. The cold numbing air hit my face through the half-opened window. I could feel the goosebumps on my arms. Ohh How I love the climate of this city. I was on my way to Lumbini Garden. Earlier that night, I had googled some not so overpriced places for couples to hang out. I found this Place reasonable and moreover its very close to her place. I told Aastha to meet me there. 

"Siddarth!!" She called out and was waving at me when I got out from the cab. She had reached the place before me. 

Hey, You look beautiful babe." I said assuredly. She indeed looked amazing. She wore a white top with a matching earring and jeans. She had a hint of mascara in her eyes, which I was crazy about. 

She blushed. "Nice shirt." She winked at me.

"Oh yes, Thank you Aastha" I winked back at her.

"You're late by the way. Do you know how much do I have to wait here alone?" 

I didn't say anything. I looked at her with a blameworthy look.

"I am kidding. I reached here just five minutes before you." She said and laughed.

The place was beautiful. I could see most of the people here are couples. Just some of them are with their families. We were walking alongside the wonderful lake it has, with Aastha's hand on my arm.  We halted at the coffee shop. We ordered a few cakes and espresso. I sat right next to her. We had a really good heart to heart conversation that we relatively lost the time track. It had been an hour we sat at the coffee shop.

"Are you scared of heights?" she asked.  

"Umm err..No. Why?" I questioned her with a perplexed look. 

"Nothing. Let's go," she said pointing towards the merry-go-round to the side of the park. She must have seen when we were at the coffee shop.

"No way," I exclaimed in a fear.

Anyway, after few minutes I eventually had to go with her. We were on the ride of the merry-go-round.  She had to hold my hand so tightly and was screaming which was inaudible to me. I was in my own predicament. I found out that I had a fear of heights that day. Whereas the people screaming and crying made me more frightened. Fortunately, It wasn't that too long. Probably because It was going to rain. I could feel the tiny drops of rain on me.  We got down as soon as it stopped. I looked at Astha. She had some tears in her eyes and her mascara was ruined. She had to apply it again. Then we laughed. Like anything happened. We booked a cab to go to get lunch for ourselves

I held Aatha's hand so tight and looked at her eyes. I could literally get lost in her eyes, that's how beautiful it is. We were close to the point that any tiny atoms can't go through. The incense of her wet hair made me tempt. I held by her waist and pulled towards mine. Now we could feel each other breath. I looked at her eyes, her pupils had dilated. We could hear the heavy rainfall on the roof of the cab which works in the intense ambiance. 

"Will you kiss me already?" She whispered in my ear.

"Uhh..huh" I nodded gently.

And in no time, My lips were pressing against her's. I could see the cab driver peeking through the rearview mirror. The wetness and the pulpiness of her lips were so tempting that I didn't have slightest of the bit to care. We kissed and we kissed and we kissed. After we were done, silence hovered.  I guess we both were capturing and living the moment. She kept her head on my shoulder and closed her eyes.

Are you asleep?" I asked.

"Yes," She answered instantly without opening her eyes.

"I love you Aastha."

"I love you too Siddharth." She said with a smile on her face.

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Love @ facebook.

May 2014.

"Don't know if I could ever be
Without you 'cause boy you complete me
And in time I know that we'll both see
That we're all we need"
"Baby me and you
We're the perfect two"

The song by Auburn played for the Umpteenth time on my phone. My roommates had started accusing of it.  Yet, I didn't care the slightest bit of it. I let them suffer. I would feel the melody and mugged the whole lyrics of the song. Yes, Aastha had told me to listen to it, saying that how much this song is amenable to us.

Facebook, Whatsapp, and Skype had been a very useful social mediatic invention over the recent years.  Not only it assists us to rediscover old friends and stalk our secret crushes,  But also for a long distant relationship, the easy and fast communication helps to keep the love alive all the time they're apart. Our relationship blossomed on facebook. Aastha and I had been dating for a month now. She was all the way home at Imphal while I was at Bangalore.

Nothing beats live conversation, hugs, kisses and romantic moments spent together. But more than that I realized that long distance love is the sweetest. The eagerness and patience we had, to see each other was sweet. It was a new experience to the two of us, It feels like living your life in two different places at once. It was a little scary at first but eventually, we both knew we are committed to each other and a deep and enduring trust is developed. The distance made us build our relationship on an emotional connection. Then I realized our relationship is more than just physical.

Our day would start with the 'Good Morning' messages followed after by uncountable more messages and phone calls and try to update our respective lives. We never ran out of things to talk about (although she talks the most). Skype, meanwhile, became something we're actually looking forward to. In fact, we would have this skype date where she would wear her nicest dress while I would still be in my pajamas. We would read this same book " of course I Love You..!" by Durjoy Datta, She really admires Avantika- one of the main character in the book. Then we would watch the same movies and play some online games. These things we shared, made our relationship stronger and exciting. With each and every day passing, I fell in love more and more with Aastha. She became irresistible.
I hoped to see her soon.

And as they say, If you survive the distance, You'll survive anything. Do you guys agree that love can also happen on facebook??

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She Speaks..Love healed

"So when are you guys meeting?'. asked Sneha.
"I don't know yaar. I'm scared. Like should I really give it a try? What if we too break-up later?"
"Arrey, yaar Aastha..stop thinking about the future all the time. you always do that. And just because he was an asshole doesn't point to Siddharth as the same. So don't think, don't expect and see where it goes."
"Yeah..You're right. Thanks for listening."
" Thank me later. I gotta go. I should be home by now." she said and left swiftly.

I was again lost in every one of those thoughts. I would cry the entire night bolted inside my room. I would think about those fake promises he gave and how effortlessly he shattered it. Then again I would revile him gravely. Things get worse. I would not talk to anybody unless they talked first. I jumped at the chance to be distant from everyone else. I would watch these depressing movies.My mother had begun to worry. Meanwhile, Sneha would try her best to cheer me up. She would plan all these girls day out. She would bring me my favorite Pinocchio ice cream. And what not?. Those dull days which I truly don't want to recall.  Eventually, things got better and I had moved on. My first and only break-up.

Siddarth came in my life in an extremely astonishing manner. He was this vivacious person and the same time he was natural. He knows what he's doing. He kept it very simple. Initially, Of course, I cringed to go on speculating he's one of those random guys who are desperate and would do anything to get laid. But I was genuinely surprised that how well we connected. Even though I haven't met him in a person, he had enchanted me with one of his sweet and courteous talks.

Love can really hurt you, It might have those startling wounds which are really painful, But love also heals it when you're with the right person. I had stopped putting stock in love. It wasn't for me I thought. It seemed like I never knew what love is all about. I never got an attention nor a little concern from my so called ex boyfriend. Instead i got affliction and negligence. I hated when friends of mine woudn't stop sharing their "Happy Couples" pictures all over facebook captioning "Me and the love of my life" #bae. But that is until i met Siddharth. I never thought i would fall in love ever again with every one of these things behind.

 But what if Siddharth does the same thing? What if i get hurt. Again? Insecurities and the fear of trusting someone escalated insignificantly. However, deep down inside, it felt right. Siddarth made me feel right. The confidence he had was amazing. He had such a great amount of faith in us which is the reason i couldn't resist falling in love with him. So I  guess Love had healed me. With the right person.

"tringg tringg" My phone rang.
"Hi baby." he said with his sleepy voice. *sexy*

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April Love

20th April 2014.
I still remember the date since she made do it.

"I love You Aastha"
'😘😘' She replied with a smiley.
Now that was the most confusing habitude that women had ever had. Usually, conversation without a smiley is drudging. But isn't it little too inappropriate to use in this serious conversation? It sort of made a clumsy mode.

'What ??' i typed back.
'You're so dumb, eh? I sent you a kiss idiot.' She replied.
'😊😍' I replied with a smiley this time, thinking why would she even kiss me? She had not seen me in a person. Perhaps she's just being nice. It is just a smiley. I'm just a naive guy whom she had only known for few days. I imagined how it would be to kiss her, and Suddenly I
had this urge to kiss her.The popping of my facebook messenger interrupted my thought.

'I love you too' she wrote back.‎

It's not every day you get a text from a girl saying she loves you. Its literally the most beautiful entity to be heard. I was truly glad that she consented to be with me. I really liked her.

Meanwhile, I was at this stereotypical Engineering college's hostel. A lot of things changed since Deepti and I broke up. I never dated again, I passed my twelfth exams with not too bad checks. I came to Bangalore to study Engineering. I don't know whats with this Country, On the off chance that you need not too bad jobs and salary, Engineering is the best choice they had. I was no different. Being from a middle-class family, I additionally needed the same. In spite of the fact that I had no second thoughts.

I met Aastha at facebook amid the mid of my second semester. I still remember her profile picture, It was a selfie wearing this black tee with an ideal caption. Although half of her face was covered by her hair, I can see those beautiful sets of eyes. I promptly found her cute. So I messaged her yet her reply took a while though. Just when I was beginning to lament, she replied. Our first conversation went on for an hour. What's more, this turned into a schedule. She was a perfect example of beauty with brains. She was good-humored, she was intellectual. A type of woman whom I always wanted to be with. Consequently, perhaps, I was falling in love with her.  On the seventeenth day, after uncountable messages and phone calls, I could no longer wait to tell her my feeling towards her.

"tringg tringg tringg" My phone rang.
All the while I was grinning and re-reading the messages. The screen of my phone displayed "Aastha❤"

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So I have been Dumped.

It was summer of 2011. Secondary school had quite recently begun. I was excited. It had been an excruciating two months holidays. I spent the vast majority of the days alone at home. Mom would be in a school, Sushant my sibling would likewise be at school. He was still at his eighth standard. And dad is constantly occupied with his work. Dad had bought me a large stack of the encyclopedia, I had gathered some DC and Marvel comics. So these aided in killing the time.

This was the time when my adolescence had struck at its best. My first cigarette, the First bottle of beer and numerous other first circumstances occurred in this period. Harish, Of course, was my partner in crime. The irony is,  he and I had precisely been telling that we won't do such things. Time does change eh? I wouldn't call it as peer pressure nor its a constrained. I simply needed to experience and a heap of curiosity it had. So I got little distracted.My friend circle expanded, the measure of cigarettes increased. I had the thought that its cool to fag, its alright to alcohol infrequently. At least we aren't addicts.

These things made me so bustling that I couldn't give time for Deepti. Deepti and I are going out for a large portion of a year now. We had several amazing dates. There were no spots at Imphal that we had not gone. Additionally, I got a second base(wink*). She had always been an understanding sweetheart, gave me space as much I needed. That was the thing that I really admired about her.She was great. Everything was great until I screwed up things. I got obsessed with all these little prominences among my friends. I even began to disregard her calls. She would send several messages which I couldn't have cared less to answer. Although some part of me knew it wasn't right and it might really hurt her.

  I reached this Nikheel cafe. Deepti had texted me to see her there. I could have ignored this too, hadn't been she specified it was urgent. She looked pissed off. I sat right opposite and looked at her. She wore this tops which I had gave for her birthday. She looked amazing.

 "Whats going on Sid? Do you care to explain?" She asked.
"What?" I asked with a great effort.
"Oh please don't give me that bullshit SIDDHARTH, you've been ignoring my calls nor you reply my messages. I just want to know why are you doing this?" She yelled.

I didn't react to that. Perhaps I didn't have anything to the state. She was coming clean at anyway.

"Or Is there someone else?"  She asked with a teary-eyed.

It's weird that how a man can catch a sight of elegance even in a sedate situation. She looked enchanted. Her soaked eyes looked beautiful. Her reddish cheek had turned into a ruby. As a consequence of witnessing this beauteousness, I had this sudden urge of kissing her.

"Arrey I love you Deeps, you know that. It's really that I have been acting immature and being thoughtless lately. I'm sorry I'm giving you a hard time. I'm sure I can make it right."
"Things cannot be fixed now Sid, I'm sorry. I called you because I needed to end this."
"What?." I asked if I heard it right.
"Yes," she said with full intent and left.
I didn't stop her either. what might I even say to her? I had no fucking explanation to give her.My phone beeped while I was all the while deducing what just happened. I so wanted this to be a dream. It was a text from Deepti.

"I'm sorry Sid. But you didn't give me a reason to stay either. I don't want me to put myself in the same pit again where I know it hurts. You literally don't have any idea how much I have been through. Don't try to stop me from leaving. It is the best thing to do. Hopefully for both of us. I'll call you if I change my mind. Bye Sid.😊. "

She never called. Sometimes, justifying a breakup is as impossible as justifying love.

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Utterly Amazing Date.

My phone beeps for the 10th time. It was from Deepti. Though it had been just a week we started to text, i felt like i have known her from ages. So literally what i'm trying to say is we connected so well. Atleast i thought we were made for each other.

"where are you? are you out yet?" she messaged.
"Yeah..on my way." i replied.

No, I wasn't out yet. I was all the while settling my hairdo, rechecking if my shoes are spotless or not,and above all i was figuring the add up to be spent on the date, if its adequate or not. I had an extremely limited pocket money, Ohh wait..i still do. It was our first date and i wanted it to be a perfect. Deepti was this stunning girl which i really liked when i first saw her at the kind of twofold date with Harish and Ruchika. That is the reason i sent her a text that very day, I truly couldn't have cared less if its desperate or not. She replied in a split second anyway. So after a week and a countless messages we finally decided to meet.

She wore this blue puma tee with an ideal jeans which incredibly suits her. She looked absolutely amazing and may i say sexy. Her wavy hair clearly adds more exquitsiteness and her upright behaviour  includes appeal. Had in the event that it were for me, i would simply look at her all day and do nothing. My heart must have literally skipped a beat when i saw her again. We were in this same park where we met for the first time. This time was different. I was on a date with the most incredible girl i have ever seen. Thanks to Harish that he constrained me to come at his date to go with his date's buddy. It was all worth it.

 Deepti appeared to be all calm and confident all the time while i was hellfire parcel of nervousness and i can feel the sweat in my ass.  I don't know why, I had always been like this. We were sitting on the bench at the side of the park, holding hands. Also, to be honest it felt so right.

"So this is really fun. Try not to go to class rather go out on a date." she said and laughed.
"Why? did you miss any important class? I thought we both agreed to meet today"
"Its nothing like that Siddarth." she mocked at me.
"Anyway I just wanted to see you'. i said unobtrusively.
"Thats sweet". she said and smiled.

Now that was something. No girl had ever said to me that i was sweet, infact no girl had ever talked  so long with me. Let alone, Deepti. And i was in love with her. Somewhere close to our talks, we had a moment. I was looking directly at her eyes and so was she. It was wonderful. I leaned a little bit and so she did. I gave a peck on her cheek and so did she. And one thing led to another and we were kissing. It was beautiful. Her lips had this extreme softness and extraordinary abrasiveness which made me need to kiss her once more. So we kissed again. I never thought my first kiss would be this way, I had always imagined that it would be in a romantic place, in the nightfall or in the rain. But ofcourse life does not go as we planned. It throws us a little surprises. And I loved this surprise.

Deepti had been blushing all the while now. She looked so cute and adorable. I wished if i could stop the time just to be with her. It was her time to go. Her mom had been calling every five minutes now. Typical Indian mother. So finally we said we loved each other. We settled another date. We kissed.She blushed again. And she left. I missed her already.

I hoped to see her soon :)

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After a Year.

 After Riya left, I tried to search her in social networking sites like facebook, orkut and whatsoever. There was no single day i did not looked for her. But in the end, the result was unchanging. She was no where to be found. Then i realized it was time to move on. It was not the easiest thing to get over her. Although I did.                                                                                                                    
It was June,2011. I had done well in my 1oth board exams. I was glad that i didn't screw up. Mom and Dad was equally happy. So basically, life was good.

"Any plans today??" Harish texted me.
"No. why?" i replied
.
It was the time when free messages and reasonably affordable SMS pack hit the Country untill facebook or whatsapp overtook our life. Harish was my closest and only friend i had in high school.
.
"Cool. come home. soon." he texted.
"Why?? " i asked.
"Just come."
"Fuck you. okay."
"lol..fuck you.  :-D"

Harish was all dressed up when i reached his home. And i was not surprised to see him like this. He had always been smart and well dressed. Unlike me. He had this girlfriend, Ruchika.. whom he had been going out for a year. Apparently Ruchika's parents were strict, and she was not allowed to go out with boys. So she had to bring her friend on a date. That's why Harish had called me, to accompany his date's companion. I hated to do this. But to argue with Harish is like way out. He gets way too emotional and eventually convinces me. Everytime. This was no different. I went with him anyway.
.
We reached the place a little early than the scheduled time.  It was a park located at the heart of the Imphal city. Though its a small city, all of its attraction are from nature. No wonder they call it as The Switzerland of India. Anyway..my point is we did not have much choices then, other than the park. But i love my city. Period.

We were walking around the park. Harish and Ruchika had left us way behind them. The awkward silence did not keep going long. Surprisingly, she was very friendly, and i guess thats why i was able to talk to her. Anyway She was tall, the first thing i noticed about her. The pink top and blue jeans she wore made her look sexy. Her curly hair and the fair complexion adds gorgeousness. And morever she was fun, carefree and absolutely charming. She was beautiful. I liked her. So much.
                  
She was saying something about Ruchika which i really don't remember. Perhaps i wasn't tuning in to her or maybe i was appreciating her conversation noiselessly. Anyway i truly don't recollect much about that day. The next thing i recall is we were with Harish and Ruchika. And the time had come to go. So we finally exchanged our numbers. And soon they were gone. I missed her.

I hoped to see her soon. :)                    

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