And I love her

It was Sunday. Although ironically, It wasn't a sunny day. I could see the dull mists and feel the frosty outside air through my window. I turned off my alarm. I woke up even before the alarm rang anyway. Usually, at 10 am on Sunday morning, I would still be on my bed. But this was not just another day. I had been fantasizing this day for four months now. I was really glad that the hold up was over and was literally amped up for the day. Actually, it was a mixed feeling of excitement and nervousness. I really wanted the First Date with Aastha to be perfect.

Aastha flew down to Bangalore just a week earlier. She had scored some extremely good marks in her twelveth exam. She had always been the most intelligent between us. Was it a coincidence that she also happens to be here in Bangalore? I still really don't know, Although I might have recommended a couple of times. Well apparently, Her parents chose the college to study Medicines here at Bangalore University. Anyway, She was equally excited about our first date. She, in fact, wanted to see me just after the day she landed. However, It took time to settle there at her hostel.

I took a hot shower promptly. I had to see her in an hour. I wore a shirt which she had gifted, to make her vibe great.  I settled my hairdo in no time. I recheck my wallet and calculated it mentally if it's enough or not. When I was all done, I looked the mirror for the last time. I could see my eyes had turned red, Probably because I could not sleep last night.

I could hear the music nonchalantly until the cab driver turned it loud. The song was Arijith's sukoon mila. Aaah! the perfect song I thought. The cold numbing air hit my face through the half-opened window. I could feel the goosebumps on my arms. Ohh How I love the climate of this city. I was on my way to Lumbini Garden. Earlier that night, I had googled some not so overpriced places for couples to hang out. I found this Place reasonable and moreover its very close to her place. I told Aastha to meet me there. 

"Siddarth!!" She called out and was waving at me when I got out from the cab. She had reached the place before me. 

Hey, You look beautiful babe." I said assuredly. She indeed looked amazing. She wore a white top with a matching earring and jeans. She had a hint of mascara in her eyes, which I was crazy about. 

She blushed. "Nice shirt." She winked at me.

"Oh yes, Thank you Aastha" I winked back at her.

"You're late by the way. Do you know how much do I have to wait here alone?" 

I didn't say anything. I looked at her with a blameworthy look.

"I am kidding. I reached here just five minutes before you." She said and laughed.

The place was beautiful. I could see most of the people here are couples. Just some of them are with their families. We were walking alongside the wonderful lake it has, with Aastha's hand on my arm.  We halted at the coffee shop. We ordered a few cakes and espresso. I sat right next to her. We had a really good heart to heart conversation that we relatively lost the time track. It had been an hour we sat at the coffee shop.

"Are you scared of heights?" she asked.  

"Umm err..No. Why?" I questioned her with a perplexed look. 

"Nothing. Let's go," she said pointing towards the merry-go-round to the side of the park. She must have seen when we were at the coffee shop.

"No way," I exclaimed in a fear.

Anyway, after few minutes I eventually had to go with her. We were on the ride of the merry-go-round.  She had to hold my hand so tightly and was screaming which was inaudible to me. I was in my own predicament. I found out that I had a fear of heights that day. Whereas the people screaming and crying made me more frightened. Fortunately, It wasn't that too long. Probably because It was going to rain. I could feel the tiny drops of rain on me.  We got down as soon as it stopped. I looked at Astha. She had some tears in her eyes and her mascara was ruined. She had to apply it again. Then we laughed. Like anything happened. We booked a cab to go to get lunch for ourselves

I held Aatha's hand so tight and looked at her eyes. I could literally get lost in her eyes, that's how beautiful it is. We were close to the point that any tiny atoms can't go through. The incense of her wet hair made me tempt. I held by her waist and pulled towards mine. Now we could feel each other breath. I looked at her eyes, her pupils had dilated. We could hear the heavy rainfall on the roof of the cab which works in the intense ambiance. 

"Will you kiss me already?" She whispered in my ear.

"Uhh..huh" I nodded gently.

And in no time, My lips were pressing against her's. I could see the cab driver peeking through the rearview mirror. The wetness and the pulpiness of her lips were so tempting that I didn't have slightest of the bit to care. We kissed and we kissed and we kissed. After we were done, silence hovered.  I guess we both were capturing and living the moment. She kept her head on my shoulder and closed her eyes.

Are you asleep?" I asked.

"Yes," She answered instantly without opening her eyes.

"I love you Aastha."

"I love you too Siddharth." She said with a smile on her face.

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Love @ facebook.

May 2014.

"Don't know if I could ever be
Without you 'cause boy you complete me
And in time I know that we'll both see
That we're all we need"
"Baby me and you
We're the perfect two"

The song by Auburn played for the Umpteenth time on my phone. My roommates had started accusing of it.  Yet, I didn't care the slightest bit of it. I let them suffer. I would feel the melody and mugged the whole lyrics of the song. Yes, Aastha had told me to listen to it, saying that how much this song is amenable to us.

Facebook, Whatsapp, and Skype had been a very useful social mediatic invention over the recent years.  Not only it assists us to rediscover old friends and stalk our secret crushes,  But also for a long distant relationship, the easy and fast communication helps to keep the love alive all the time they're apart. Our relationship blossomed on facebook. Aastha and I had been dating for a month now. She was all the way home at Imphal while I was at Bangalore.

Nothing beats live conversation, hugs, kisses and romantic moments spent together. But more than that I realized that long distance love is the sweetest. The eagerness and patience we had, to see each other was sweet. It was a new experience to the two of us, It feels like living your life in two different places at once. It was a little scary at first but eventually, we both knew we are committed to each other and a deep and enduring trust is developed. The distance made us build our relationship on an emotional connection. Then I realized our relationship is more than just physical.

Our day would start with the 'Good Morning' messages followed after by uncountable more messages and phone calls and try to update our respective lives. We never ran out of things to talk about (although she talks the most). Skype, meanwhile, became something we're actually looking forward to. In fact, we would have this skype date where she would wear her nicest dress while I would still be in my pajamas. We would read this same book " of course I Love You..!" by Durjoy Datta, She really admires Avantika- one of the main character in the book. Then we would watch the same movies and play some online games. These things we shared, made our relationship stronger and exciting. With each and every day passing, I fell in love more and more with Aastha. She became irresistible.
I hoped to see her soon.

And as they say, If you survive the distance, You'll survive anything. Do you guys agree that love can also happen on facebook??

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So I have been Dumped.

It was summer of 2011. Secondary school had quite recently begun. I was excited. It had been an excruciating two months holidays. I spent the vast majority of the days alone at home. Mom would be in a school, Sushant my sibling would likewise be at school. He was still at his eighth standard. And dad is constantly occupied with his work. Dad had bought me a large stack of the encyclopedia, I had gathered some DC and Marvel comics. So these aided in killing the time.

This was the time when my adolescence had struck at its best. My first cigarette, the First bottle of beer and numerous other first circumstances occurred in this period. Harish, Of course, was my partner in crime. The irony is,  he and I had precisely been telling that we won't do such things. Time does change eh? I wouldn't call it as peer pressure nor its a constrained. I simply needed to experience and a heap of curiosity it had. So I got little distracted.My friend circle expanded, the measure of cigarettes increased. I had the thought that its cool to fag, its alright to alcohol infrequently. At least we aren't addicts.

These things made me so bustling that I couldn't give time for Deepti. Deepti and I are going out for a large portion of a year now. We had several amazing dates. There were no spots at Imphal that we had not gone. Additionally, I got a second base(wink*). She had always been an understanding sweetheart, gave me space as much I needed. That was the thing that I really admired about her.She was great. Everything was great until I screwed up things. I got obsessed with all these little prominences among my friends. I even began to disregard her calls. She would send several messages which I couldn't have cared less to answer. Although some part of me knew it wasn't right and it might really hurt her.

  I reached this Nikheel cafe. Deepti had texted me to see her there. I could have ignored this too, hadn't been she specified it was urgent. She looked pissed off. I sat right opposite and looked at her. She wore this tops which I had gave for her birthday. She looked amazing.

 "Whats going on Sid? Do you care to explain?" She asked.
"What?" I asked with a great effort.
"Oh please don't give me that bullshit SIDDHARTH, you've been ignoring my calls nor you reply my messages. I just want to know why are you doing this?" She yelled.

I didn't react to that. Perhaps I didn't have anything to the state. She was coming clean at anyway.

"Or Is there someone else?"  She asked with a teary-eyed.

It's weird that how a man can catch a sight of elegance even in a sedate situation. She looked enchanted. Her soaked eyes looked beautiful. Her reddish cheek had turned into a ruby. As a consequence of witnessing this beauteousness, I had this sudden urge of kissing her.

"Arrey I love you Deeps, you know that. It's really that I have been acting immature and being thoughtless lately. I'm sorry I'm giving you a hard time. I'm sure I can make it right."
"Things cannot be fixed now Sid, I'm sorry. I called you because I needed to end this."
"What?." I asked if I heard it right.
"Yes," she said with full intent and left.
I didn't stop her either. what might I even say to her? I had no fucking explanation to give her.My phone beeped while I was all the while deducing what just happened. I so wanted this to be a dream. It was a text from Deepti.

"I'm sorry Sid. But you didn't give me a reason to stay either. I don't want me to put myself in the same pit again where I know it hurts. You literally don't have any idea how much I have been through. Don't try to stop me from leaving. It is the best thing to do. Hopefully for both of us. I'll call you if I change my mind. Bye Sid.😊. "

She never called. Sometimes, justifying a breakup is as impossible as justifying love.

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